but i paid $10 and went to bulls, so why can't i take a cab home?

Ryan: How was last night?
Me: I assaulted 3 people...that sums it up.
Ryan: LOL What? Why?
Me: Well...my friend was mid-makeout, so I separated them, punched HIM in the face, and then I kissed her.
Ryan: Did you go to jail?
Me: No...I ran away.
Ryan: You're a freak.
I have nothing else to say.

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